Subject: People » Self (Page 3)

For weeks I’ve been telling him not to buy anything for my birthday, and he still forgot to bring me something.

People Self

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year… it was my second season in the bigs.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

Have you ever had one of those moments when you look up and realize that you’re one of those people you see on the train talking to themselves?

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Self

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
People Self

I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Self

A gossip is someone who talks to you about others, a bore is someone who talks to you about himself, and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.

(1925 – 1990) American actor
Communication Conversation People Self Speech

I was once paged at JFK airport as “Mr. No One.”

(1947 – ) English singer & songwriter
People Self

Sorry, Peg, I didn’t hear you; I was thinking of killing myself.

(1946 – ) American actor
Self TV/Movie Quotes

How many advantages can one person have?… I'm a white man!

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
People Self

My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Children Family People Self

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language Self

Hey, I don’t get respect from anyone… why, American Airlines thanked me for flying United.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults People Self

I am a deeply superficial person.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Characteristics People Self

I'm just a person trapped in a woman's body.

(1952 – ) comedian
Body People Self Women

When a letter simply addressed to "Duffy the Dope" was delivered to me, I knew it was time to retire.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Communication People Self Work

I couldn’t be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Self

I hate myself, but being Jewish has nothing to do with it.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Beliefs Religion Self

When I die, if the word ‘thong’ appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I’ve screwed up.

(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Death Self

A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.

(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Emotions Laughter People Self

Facetime fulfills a secret human desire: to mostly look at yourself while talking to other people.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Computers People Self Things

I angered the clerk in a clothing shop today; she asked me what size I was and I said actual, because I am not to scale.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing People Self