Subject: People » Self (Page 5)

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People Self Success

I was born in 1962… and the room next to me was 1963.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age People Self

I’m really no different than anybody else; except that sometimes I get my name in the paper.

Canadian professional hockey player
Hockey People Self Sports

All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot.

(1969 – ) American actress, dancer, singer & entrepreneur
Appearance Body People Self

Autobiography: An I-witness account

Books Communication Definitions People Self

He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse’ … I’m not a recluse.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Insults People Self

Dad, the odds of me knowing the score to the Mariners game is about the same as you knowing the score to Pacific Overtures.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Self TV/Movie Quotes

I am the common denominator to all my bad relationships.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Relationships Self

If I had my life to live over, I wouldn't have time.

(1936 – 1992) singer, songwriter, musician & actor
Life People Self Time

When people ask me what sign I was born under, I say "I'm not certain, but it could have been the one that says 'Dining Car in opposite direction'."

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Communication People Self

It would have been a wonderful wedding – had it not been mine.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Marriage People Self

Not with anybody else.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Emotions Love People Self

It's hard to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenics just because she lives in your body.

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Health People Self

My handwriting looks as if a swarm of ants, escaping from an ink bottle, had walked over a sheet of paper without wiping their legs.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Communication People Reading/Writing Self

To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

The other day a woman described me as a bit of a looker… well voyeur was the actual word she used, but there’s no need to split hairs is there?

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Self

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

(1965 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Communication People Self Speech

Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Mistakes People Problems Self

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold People Self

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Death People Self Situations

I know [my head] is big because every time I'm in a picture, it always looks like I'm really close to the camera.

Canadian comedian
Appearance Body Self