Subject: People » Self (Page 5)

Even at school they thought I had special powers; what was the phrase… ‘Constant super-vision.’

(1964 – ) English comedian
People Self

I can take any amount of criticism so long as it is unqualified praise.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication People Self

I get up and a button falls off… I pick up my briefcase and the handle falls off; I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
People Problems Self

My name is Fin, which means it's very hard for me to end emails without sounding pretentious.

comedian
People Self

I’m like an iPhone, it’s going to be worse versions of this every year, plus I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
People Self

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Characteristics Emotions People Self

I set records that will never be equaled; in fact, I hope 90% of them don’t even get printed.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People Self

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Honesty Lies People Self Truth

My first words were ‘Seconds, please.’

(1953 – ) American comedian & television host
Communication Eating Food/Drink Self Speech

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People Self

I was born at the age of twelve on a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lot.

(1922 – 1969) American singer & actor
Entertainment People Self

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health People Self

Have you ever had one of those moments when you look up and realize that you’re one of those people you see on the train talking to themselves?

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Self

I hope there’s a tinge of disgrace about me; hopefully, there’s one good scandal left in me yet.

(1938 – ) English actress
People Self

When I was a kid at my birthday parties my mom would say, “make a death-wish and blow out the candles.”

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People Self

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Death People Self Situations

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics Self Sex

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Self

Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business… my business.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
People Self Work

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People Self