Subject: People » Self (Page 6)

I will never give up; I’m in my 14th year of a ten-day beauty plan.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Self

I am being frank about myself in this book; I tell of my first mistake on page 850.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Books Communication People Self

Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Mind Self TV/Movie Quotes

A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.

(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Emotions Laughter People Self

People ask me how much I weigh. I tell them, 145 pounds, naked; that is, if that scale outside the drugstore is anything to go by.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Self

They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel uncomfortable when they laugh at me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions Laughter People Self

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics People Self

My beard is the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's look good.

American basketball player
Basketball People Self Sports

There’s only one thing I can’t do that white people can do, and that’s play pranks at international airports.

British-Asian comedian
People Self Situations

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
People Self

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.

comedian
Doctors Health People Self

Sometimes people come up to me and they'll be like, 'In Italy, it's pronounced 'Bir-Bee-Lya’ … and I'm like, 'In America, you're annoying.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Language People Self

My parents were very protective; I couldn’t even cross the street without them getting all excited and… placing bets.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family People Self

I had a woman come up to me at the airport and say, “I don’t mean to insult you, but you look like Bobcat Goldthwait.”

(1962 – ) comedian, actor, voice actor, screenwriter, & film & television director
Appearance People Self

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Self

In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown; the difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Education School Self

Sometimes I’m so sweet even I can’t stand it.

(1935 – ) British actress, singer & author
People Self

How do people make new mates?… asking for a friend.

Comedian & writer
Friends People Self

Flattery is telling people exactly what they think of themselves.

Characteristics People Self

All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.

American writer
Intelligence Self

The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self