Subject: People » Self (Page 9)

I never go out unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star; if you want to see the girl next door, go next door.

(1905 – 1977) American actress
Appearance People Self

I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People Self

I’m not only Iranian, I’m also Jewish, and I know what you’re thinking… you’re thinking, ‘Wow, he’s Iranian and Jewish; I don’t know if I should hate him or hate him.’

American standup-comedian
Emotions People Self

I’m not a lesbian… but I play one in the home movies my husband forces me to make.

(1996 – ) American comedian
People Self

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People Self

When I was a kid at my birthday parties my mom would say, “make a death-wish and blow out the candles.”

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People Self

Til I was nine, my mother was still trying to get an abortion.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Self

My name is Fin, which means it's very hard for me to end emails without sounding pretentious.

comedian
People Self

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn’t learn something from him.

(1564 – 1642) Italian astronomer, physicist, engineer, philosopher & mathematician
Intelligence People Self

Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

I have decided to keep a full journal, in the hope that my life will perhaps seem more interesting when it is written down.

(1946 – 2014) English writer & humorist
Books Communication People Self

One time my whole family played hide and seek; they found my mother in Pittsburgh!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers People Self

Vickie Lynn Hogan is my birth certificate’s name.

(1967 – 2007) American model
People Self

For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

Somebody stole my identity… good luck using it without the medications.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
People Self

I know when (women) don't like me 'cause they'll say things like, 'Yeah, that's him, officer.'

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
People Self Women

You might recognize me… I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
People Self

If it weren't for my Adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self

To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me; then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.

(1973 – ) American comedian
People Self Situations

I'm not a competitive person… I'll be the first to admit it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Self