Subject: People » Women (Page 11)

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Clothing Sex Things Women

In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.

American baseball umpire
Baseball People Sports Women

Intuition: The strange instinct that tells a woman she is right whether she is or not.

Definitions Women

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
America Characteristics England Husbands Women

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it – if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

American actor & comedian
Food/Drink Sex Speech Women

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Marriage Men People Women

It’s well-known that men and women are different but it keeps being rediscovered with great excitement.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Men People Women

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Men People Situations Women

Feminism is the worst thing that happened to woman… our job used to be no job. – Feminism

(1982 – ) American actress, stand-up comedian & writer
People Women

She was what we used to call a suicide blonde—dyed by her own hand.

(1915 – 2005) Canadian writer
Appearance Hair People Women

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

(1955– ) writer & screenwriter
Conversation Men People Sex Women

Women don’t respect salad eaters.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women

A man's got to do what a man's got to do; a woman must do what he can't.

(1951 – ) American stand-up comic & actress
Men People Women

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men People Women

You don’t know a woman till you’ve met her in court.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
People Women

In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk… ladies, you fake orgasms… we fake listening.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Men People Relationships Women

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing People Women

When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Conversation Men People Sex Women

Being an old maid is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to struggle.

(1885 – 1968) American writer
Marriage People Women

Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Communication Language People Women