Subject: People » Women (Page 15)

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Men Things Time Women

In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk… ladies, you fake orgasms… we fake listening.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Men People Relationships Women

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People Shopping Women

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Intelligence Language People Thinking Women

I’m not saying she’s easy, but she’s been in so many motel rooms her nickname is ‘Gideon.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Sex Women

A woman’s always younger than a man at equal years.

(1806 – 1861) English poet
Age Men People Women

If God had wanted women to have giant… fake boobs he’d be a lot like my brother.

(1964 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Women

Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Men People Situations Women

Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
People Relationships Women

A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.

(1911 – 1989) television actress
Age People Women

When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces; women just go on cooking.


Age Men Old People Women

I know when (women) don't like me 'cause they'll say things like, 'Yeah, that's him, officer.'

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
People Self Women

A lot of rich women seeing how small they can get their dogs.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Dogs Places Women

No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Emotions Love Men People Women

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.

Age Proverbs Women

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Happiness Love Men Women

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

(1905 – 1982) American mystery writer (co-author of Ellery Queen stories
Characteristics People Women

Many men and women enjoy popular esteem, not because they are known, but because they are not known.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Men People Women

If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age People Women

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Girls People Places Women