Subject: People » Women (Page 17)

Any girl can be glamorous… all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

(1913 – 2000) Austrian-American actress, mathematician & inventor
Appearance People Women

There’s a reason it’s called ‘Girls gone wild’ and not ‘Women gone wild;’ when girls go wild they show their tits to people; when women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
Girls People Women

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

People Women

Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Women

My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette; we passed around six girls and one of them had VD.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Girls Health Old Women

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Body Women

If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Communication Men People Speech Women

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.

Age Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

I'm just a person trapped in a woman's body.

(1952 – ) comedian
Body People Self Women

It's so unfair because I go out of my way not to treat women like objects and end up having to treat objects like women.

stand-up comedian
People Sex Things Women

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?

Melvin: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

(1937 – ) American actor
People TV/Movie Quotes Women

I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling… the rest I spend foolishly.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Alcohol Money Women

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is; I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Emotions Men Success Women

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Women

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Clothing Sex Things Women

Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.

People Situations Women

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Happiness Love People Women

Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn’t have that, then she’s mine.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Girls Intelligence People Women

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Love Women

Women reach their sexual peak after 35 years; men reach theirs after about four minutes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Men People Sex Time Women

The female sex has no greater fan than I, and I have the bills to prove it.

(1918 – 1986) American lyricist
Money People Women