Subject: People » Women (Page 8)

If they ever invent a vibrator that can open pickle jars, we’ve had it.

(1964 – ) English comedian & writer
People Sex Women

Some women pick men to marry; and others pick them to pieces.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men People Women

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Men Sex Things Women

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Marriage Men People Women

I took this girl to dinner, and I heard that women like it when you order for them, so I was like, 'I'll have the special, and she's not getting anything tonight.'

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Food/Drink People Situations Women

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Children Family People Women

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Autos People Things Women

Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Intelligence Men People Women

Women like jewelry; they’re like raccoons: show them some shiny stuff and they’ll follow you home.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
People Things Women

Behind every successful man, you’ll find a woman who has nothing to wear.

(1908 – 1997) American actor
Appearance Clothing Men People Success Women

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Men People Women

A man's got to do what a man's got to do; a woman must do what he can't.

(1951 – ) American stand-up comic & actress
Men People Women

Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind.

Men Money People Women

There’s a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there’s a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Family Mothers People Women

Many men and women enjoy popular esteem, not because they are known, but because they are not known.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Men People Women

Women are removing sperm from the bodies of their dead husbands; kind of ironic… when they’re alive, most men can’t give it away.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
People Sex Women

A woman can look both moral and exciting… if she also looks as if it was quite a struggle.

(1885 – 1968) American writer
People Women

I really detest movies like Indecent Proposal and Pretty Woman because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal; and really that’s such a small part of it.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Entertainment Film Sex Women

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Body Women

A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Money Situations Women

Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? … that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

(1865-1940) English actress
Men People Women