Subject: Places » America

He worked like hell in the country so he could live in the city, where he worked like hell so he could live in the country.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
America Places Work

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places Speech

America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.

American folksinger & activist
America Places

It’s the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
America Animals Dogs Places

Part-Time Woman Wanted: What a country… even transvestites can get work.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

The greatest American superstition is belief in facts.

(1880 – 1946) Baltic German philosopher
America Beliefs Facts Places

Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland.

(1937 – 2012) New Zealand author
America Canada Places

I have to spend so much time explaining to Americans that I am not English and to Englishmen that I am not American that I have little time left to be Canadian.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
America Canada England Places

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
America Government Places Politics

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a handgun than a packet of cigarettes.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
America Arms Situations Things

In America, we won't let somebody who's terminally ill have the right to take their own life… but yet, we'll let Evel Knievel jump over the Grand Canyon with a damn moped.

American stand-up comedian
America Places

What middle class? … there's only seven people left in the middle class – who cares about them?

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
America People Places

Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.

(1895-1957) Canadian historian
America Canada People Places

In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

America Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Don't let the whole world come here and see our stuff; it just pisses them off.

television executive & comedian
America Anger Emotions Places World

We are for the underdog, no matter how much of a dog he is.

(1898 – 1991) U.S. senator (Kentucky) & Major League Baseball commissioner
America Misspokements People Places

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

America Food/Drink Places

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Entertainment Government Military Music Places

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Communication England Language Places