Subject: Places » America

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Health Places

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
America Conflict War

The greatest American superstition is belief in facts.

(1880 – 1946) Baltic German philosopher
America Beliefs Facts Places

We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Misspokements Places

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
America Places Television

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

stand-up comedian
America Communication Language People Self

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
America Places

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real, but the moon landing was faked.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
America Places

President Bush has just one question for the American voters: is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America Money

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
America Insults Places

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
America People Situations

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show; when you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
America Places

The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear.

(1964 – ) Canadian writer & novelist
America Canada History People Places

We’re the greatest country on Earth except when it comes to getting shit done.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Places

In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is; that is what makes America what it is.

(1874 – 1946) American art collector and writer of novels, poetry & plays
America Places

If you persecute somebody just because they might look a little different, then you are no better than our country's founding fathers.

American comedian & writer
America Characteristics Places