Subject: Places » America (Page 4)

I sometimes think that the saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities – a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
America Places

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Places

If you persecute somebody just because they might look a little different, then you are no better than our country's founding fathers.

American comedian & writer
America Characteristics Places

In America, your work determines your marks; in Soviet Russia, Marx determines your work!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
America Autos People Places

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.

(1864 – 1943) English writer
America Divorce Husbands Marriage

America is still a land of promise, especially during a political campaign.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
America Government Places Politics

Living in England, provincial England, must be like being married to a stupid but exquisitely beautiful wife.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
America Places

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

We haven't seen that kind of violence in the name of religion in this country since we got here!'

American stand-up comedian
America History Religion Time

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Government People Places Politicians

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
America Characteristics Family Fathers People Places

Americans are like the straight, white man of cultures.

(1978 – ) Australian comedian, writer & actress
America People Places

The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America Appearance Government Places President

America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
America Places TV/Movie Quotes

The Americans are a funny lot; they drink whiskey to keep them warm, then they put ice in it to make it cool; then they put some sugar in it to make it sweet and then they put a slice of lemon in it to make it sour, then they say, “Here’s to you” and drink it themselves.

(1904 – 1976) Indian politician
America People Places

We are for the underdog, no matter how much of a dog he is.

(1898 – 1991) U.S. senator (Kentucky) & Major League Baseball commissioner
America Misspokements People Places

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
America Places Problems

The town had the coldest temperature in all the contagious states.

America Malaprops Places

As a nation we are dedicated to keeping physically fit – and parking as close to the stadium as possible.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
America Places

Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Activities America Drugs Education People