Subject: Places » America (Page 8)

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Places

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
America Golf Government Sports

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real, but the moon landing was faked.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
America Places

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

stand-up comedian
America Communication Language People Self

Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
America Characteristics Honesty Lies People

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Government Places

Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
America Places

That is what has made America last these past 200 centuries.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
America Misspokements Places

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America People President Success

The town had the coldest temperature in all the contagious states.

America Malaprops Places

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the states, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Arms Things

They added up all the people in this country who consider themselves a minority and it added up to more than the population of the country.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America People Places

In America, your work determines your marks; in Soviet Russia, Marx determines your work!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Education Intelligence Misspokements Places World

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

America Murphy’s Laws People

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America New York City Places Self

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
America Places

America is one long expectoration.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
America Insults Places

The greatest American superstition is belief in facts.

(1880 – 1946) Baltic German philosopher
America Beliefs Facts Places