Subject: Places » England

The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Insults People Places

All Englishmen talk as if they’ve got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
England Insults Places Speech

The English contribution to world cuisine – the chip.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer
Cooking England Food/Drink Places

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
America England Language Places

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Emotions England Money People Places Wealth

Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
England Food/Drink Places

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
Characteristics England People Places

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
England Government Places

Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed, which is mad because those places are really well lit

English comedian, writer & actor
England Places

Keegan Fills Schmeichel’s Gap With Seaman

England Headlines

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

Studies show 1 in 5 British teens are unable to peel an orange… it’s a good job they’ve all got knives then.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
England People Places

I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold, I almost got married.

(1920 – 2006) American actress
Cold England Places Science/Weather

You cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine; it is the country with the worst food after Finland.

(1932 – ) French statesman & president
England Food/Drink Places

Brexit is a terrible name… sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.

(1978 – ) English stand-up comedian & actress
England Places Situations

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.

(1563 – 1608) Italian Catholic priest
Beliefs Cooking England Food/Drink Places Religion

I have to spend so much time explaining to Americans that I am not English and to Englishmen that I am not American that I have little time left to be Canadian.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
America Canada England Places

The English never smash in a face; they merely refrain from asking it to dinner.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

The English approach to ideas is not to kill them, but to let them die of neglect.

(1950 – ) English broadcaster, journalist & author
England Ideas Intelligence Places

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics England People Places

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
America Characteristics England Husbands Women