Subject: Places » England

Englishwomen's shoes look as if they had been made by someone who had often heard shoes described, but had never seen any.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
Appearance Clothing England Insults Places

Keegan Fills Schmeichel’s Gap With Seaman

England Headlines

The president of France said that the English are arrogant with their refusal to learn foreign languages; at least, I think that’s what he said… it all just sounded like “haw-he-haw-he-haw-he-haw.”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication England Language Places

In Scotland we have mixed feelings about Global Warming…. because we all get to sit on the mountains and watch the English drown.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
England Places

Brexit is a terrible name… sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.

(1978 – ) English stand-up comedian & actress
England Places Situations

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

I knew these Siamese twins; they moved to England, so the other one could drive.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Driving England Places

England is better only because I stand out there as ‘unusual.’

(1956 – ) American comedian
England People Places Self

I was well warned about English food, so it did not surprise me, but I do wonder sometimes, how they ever manage to prise [lever] it up long enough to get a plate under it.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

There are three golden rules for parliamentary speakers: “Stand up. Speak up. Shut up.”

(1855 – 1949) British politician
Communication England Places Speech

A government survey reveals the prime minister is doing the work of two men… Laurel and Hardy.

(1930 – 2016) Scottish stand-up comedian, actor, writer & broadcaster
England Government

Trains in Britain can be late for all sorts of reasons: speed restrictions, livestock on the track, or a totally substandard rail infrastructure that’s publicly funded, privately run and answerable to no one… all sorts of reasons.

(1979 – ) English comedian & actor
England Places

Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed, which is mad because those places are really well lit

English comedian, writer & actor
England Places

The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Government Law Places

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Emotions England Money People Places Wealth

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics England People Places

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.

(1563 – 1608) Italian Catholic priest
Beliefs Cooking England Food/Drink Places Religion

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia?

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Beer England Food/Drink Places

The old English belief that if a thing is unpleasant it is automatically good for you.

(1908 – 1986) English cartoonist, author, art critic & stage designer
England Places

The English approach to ideas is not to kill them, but to let them die of neglect.

(1950 – ) English broadcaster, journalist & author
England Ideas Intelligence Places

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Communication England Language Places