Subject: Places » England (Page 3)

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication England People Places Speech

A government survey reveals the prime minister is doing the work of two men… Laurel and Hardy.

(1930 – 2016) Scottish stand-up comedian, actor, writer & broadcaster
England Government

I have to spend so much time explaining to Americans that I am not English and to Englishmen that I am not American that I have little time left to be Canadian.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
America Canada England Places

Englishmen think over a compliment for a week, so that by the time they pay it, it is addled, like a bad egg.

(1863 – 1930) British novelist & playwright
England People Places

The English approach to ideas is not to kill them, but to let them die of neglect.

(1950 – ) English broadcaster, journalist & author
England Ideas Intelligence Places

If you live to be ninety in England and can still eat a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Age England Old Places

The English contribution to world cuisine – the chip.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer
Cooking England Food/Drink Places

They're mad because they lost the Revolutionary War, and they should be, because there was only like nine of us.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
England Places

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics England People Places

Contrary to popular belief, English women do not wear tweed nightgowns.

(1897-1987) actress & comedian
England Places

I like the French/British relationship to a very old married couple who often think of killing each other but would never dream of divorce.

(1948 – ) British politician
England Places

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

(1934 – ) comedian
England People Places

Trains in Britain can be late for all sorts of reasons: speed restrictions, livestock on the track, or a totally substandard rail infrastructure that’s publicly funded, privately run and answerable to no one… all sorts of reasons.

(1979 – ) English comedian & actor
England Places

Long experience has taught me that in England nobody goes to the theater unless he or she has bronchitis.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
England Entertainment Places

The train system is so chronic now, that any journey you undertake by train in Britain is identical to the one taken by Omar Sharif in Doctor Zhivago.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer
England Places

Brexit is a terrible name… sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.

(1978 – ) English stand-up comedian & actress
England Places Situations

We’re not used to weather in June in this country.

professional football player, coach & executive
England Misspokements Places Science/Weather

England, the heart of a rabbit in the body of a lion.

England Places

The English never smash in a face; they merely refrain from asking it to dinner.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

The president of France said that the English are arrogant with their refusal to learn foreign languages; at least, I think that’s what he said… it all just sounded like “haw-he-haw-he-haw-he-haw.”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication England Language Places

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Characteristics England People Places