Subject: Places » New York City

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers… and he hates New York.


New York City Places Things

Running for senator in New York is like bobbing for piranhas.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government New York City Places

I really don't like living there; I have to for health reasons; I'm very paranoid, and New York's the only place where my fears are justified.

American comedian
Health New York City Places

It'll be a great place if they ever finish it.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
New York City Places

The only cultural advantage L.A. has over New York is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Driving New York City Places

The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Autos New York City Places

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

New York is the only place where if you have talent, and you believe in yourself, and you show people what you can do then some day, maybe – just maybe – you could get shoved in front of a moving subway train.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
New York City Places

There is no room for amateurs… even in crossing the streets.

(1934 – ) American actor
New York City Places

If Jeffrey Dahmer lived in New York, New Yorkers would have been like, 'Hey, you think that apartment's available?'

comedian, television writer
New York City People Places

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Communication Intelligence New York City Reading/Writing

The first time I ever came into a game there [Yankee Stadium], I got in the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball New York City Places Sports

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
New York City Occupations Places Work

I come from New York where, if you fall down, someone will pick you up by your wallet.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach
New York City Places

New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
New York City People Places

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75; walked back out in the street – genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Money New York City Places

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs New York City Places Religion

I moved to New York for my health; I’m paranoid, and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.

Fear Health New York City Places

Three o’clock in the morning, you can get truck tires, falafel and a bag of heroin – in the same store.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian, radio personality, author & actor
New York City Places Shopping

I love New York – it's the only place where if you look at anyone long enough, they'll eventually spit.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
New York City People Places

I just flew in from New York City, and boy is my middle finger tired.

comedian
New York City Places