Subject: Places » New York City

I saw a license plate yesterday that said 'I Miss New York,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian
New York City Places Problems

New York, the nation's thyroid gland.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
New York City Places

1. Nothing is ever so bad it can't be made worse by firing the coach. 2. A free agent is anything but. 3. Whatever can go to New York will..

Activities Murphy’s Laws New York City Places Sports

It'll be a great place if they ever finish it.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
New York City Places

I love New York – it's the only place where if you look at anyone long enough, they'll eventually spit.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
New York City People Places

Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Cold New York City Places Science/Weather Situations

In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
New York City Places

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
New York City Places

Three o’clock in the morning, you can get truck tires, falafel and a bag of heroin – in the same store.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian, radio personality, author & actor
New York City Places Shopping

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Food/Drink New York City Places

NASA is developing space taxis to shuttle astronauts to the International Space Station; and just like New York taxis… they’re all going to be driven by aliens.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
New York City Places

“New York, New York” – so good they named it twice.

(1947 – ) American singer-songwriter
New York City Places

I moved to New York for my health; I’m paranoid, and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.

Fear Health New York City Places

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America New York City Places Self

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
New York City Occupations Places Work

I just flew in from New York City, and boy is my middle finger tired.

comedian
New York City Places

In New York every rainbow has an empty pot of gold at the end with a chalk outline of a dead leprechaun.

American radio and television personality, comedian & speaker
Crime New York City Places

The first time I ever came into a game there [Yankee Stadium], I got in the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball New York City Places Sports

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs New York City Places Religion

A city where everyone mutinies but no one deserts.

(1885 –1974) American cartoonist, humor writer & radio personality
New York City Places