Subject: Places » New York City (Page 2)

If Jeffrey Dahmer lived in New York, New Yorkers would have been like, 'Hey, you think that apartment's available?'

comedian, television writer
New York City People Places

In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
New York City Places

It'll be a great place if they ever finish it.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
New York City Places

There is no room for amateurs… even in crossing the streets.

(1934 – ) American actor
New York City Places

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

(1925 – 2005) television host
New York City People Places

New York, the nation's thyroid gland.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
New York City Places

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
New York City Places

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers… and he hates New York.


New York City Places Things

NASA is developing space taxis to shuttle astronauts to the International Space Station; and just like New York taxis… they’re all going to be driven by aliens.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
New York City Places

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75; walked back out in the street – genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Money New York City Places

1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws New York City Places

New York is the only place where if you have talent, and you believe in yourself, and you show people what you can do then some day, maybe – just maybe – you could get shoved in front of a moving subway train.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
New York City Places

Police: Bank Robber Had Shopping Addiction

Headlines New York City Places

I moved to New York for my health; I’m paranoid, and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.

Fear Health New York City Places

In New York every rainbow has an empty pot of gold at the end with a chalk outline of a dead leprechaun.

American radio and television personality, comedian & speaker
Crime New York City Places

I saw a license plate yesterday that said 'I Miss New York,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian
New York City Places Problems

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
New York City Occupations Places Work

The first time I ever came into a game there [Yankee Stadium], I got in the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball New York City Places Sports

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time… most unsolved.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Conflict New York City Places

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Intelligence New York City Places