Subject: Places (Page 13)

In Milan, traffic lights are instructions; in Rome, they are suggestions; in Naples, they are Christmas decorations.

(1942 – ) Italian politician
Places

The Welsh are just Italians in the rain.

(1929 – ) British television & radio critic
People Places

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Places

I only like two kinds of men; domestic and foreign.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Men People Places

The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny… yet no French sex comedies are funny.

(1954 – ) cartoonist, screenwriter, producer & creator of The Simpsons
Entertainment Film Places Reviews/Criticism

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Places

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
America Government Places Politics

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Insults Places

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places Politics

America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
America Places

The town was so small the Entering and Leaving signs were on the same pole.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Places

I come from Calcutta: in the UK you drive on the left of the road, in Calcutta we drive on what is left of the road.

Indian comedian
Activities Driving Places

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

I came from a real tough neighborhood; in the library the sign says “Shut the f**k up!”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places

My one claim to originality among Irishmen is that I never made a speech.

(1852 – 1933) Irish writer, poet, art critic & dramatist
Communication Places Speech

I knew these Siamese twins; they moved to England, so the other one could drive.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Driving England Places

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

I was in Kashmir last weekend… went to visit one of my sweaters.

(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Clothing Places

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Canada Hockey Places Science/Weather Sports

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Insults People

The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling, 'The British are coming! The British are coming!'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Autos Places Things