Subject: Places (Page 13)

It's a scientific fact; for every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Hollywood Intelligence Places

Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to just a brass pole.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Places

The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places World

Spain's new Prime Minister … announced he will soon call back Spain's 1300 troops from Iraq… meaning the coalition of the willing is fast turning into a duet of the stubborn.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government Places Politics Situations

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

Powdered milk, powdered eggs, baby powder… what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Autos Driving Places

Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.

Definitions Places

America: A land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, and won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

America Definitions Places

Sign over the gates of hell: “24-Hour Delivery.”

American writer
Places

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
America Places Problems

There is one thing on earth more terrible than English music, and that is English painting.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Art England Entertainment Food/Drink Insults Places

In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.

(1942 – ) British travel writer & novelist
Murphy’s Laws Places

Britons put up with, Americans fix, while Canadians cope.

(1901 – 1978) anthropologist
Canada People Places

My parents were English; we were too poor to be British.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
England Places

We’re the greatest country on Earth except when it comes to getting shit done.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Places

Dubai is what would happen if you gave a 12-year-old a trillion dollars to redecorate his bedroom.

(1619 – 1683) French statesman
Places

If you have s stomach ache, in France you get a suppository, in Germany a health spa, in the United States they cut your stomach open and in Britain they put you on a waiting list.

(1955 – ) English politician
Health Places

As we work and sightsee on America’s largest island, we’ll get to view more majestic bears, so now is a good time to draw attention to the political equivalent of the species.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Misspokements Places

Graceland is so tacky, Puerto Rican people walk out of there going, 'That's some tacky stuff there, man.'

American comedian & author
Characteristics Places