Subject: Places (Page 14)

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
America Communication Reading/Writing

If you take a oriental and turn him around so he faces west, does he become disoriented?


People Places

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that's why the dogs are so fast.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Places

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication England People Places Speech

Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication People Places

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
New York City Places

At 19 miles, when most runners run out of steam and you hit what they call ‘the wall,’ is the exact moment you cross into the South Bronx; so here, they combine running and fleeing.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Exercise Places Sports

We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.


cartoon character in The Simpsons (Julie Kavner)
People Places

It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Happiness Places

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
America Elections/Voting Government Places

The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.

Appearance Body Murphy’s Laws Places Women World

Tasmania is famous for its shape, which is the same shape as the pubic hair region on a woman's body, which I personally don't identify with; mine's more like a map of the former Soviet Union… not to scale.

(1978 – ) Australian comedian, writer & actress
Places

A hotel isn’t like a home, but it’s better than being a house guest.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author
Places Situations

In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, 'Sorry, we're open.’

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Food/Drink Places

Powdered milk, powdered eggs, baby powder… what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Places

The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Places Science/Weather

A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.

Places Proverbs

I’m in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants; I’d let just about everybody in except the English.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
England Food/Drink Places

I was well warned about English food, so it did not surprise me, but I do wonder sometimes, how they ever manage to prise [lever] it up long enough to get a plate under it.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Children Family Places