Subject: Places (Page 15)

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Places Situations

It's possible to spend money anywhere in the world if you put your mind to it, something I proved conclusively by running up huge debts in Cincinnati.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Money Places Sports

Never, ever, fly on the airline of the country from which you are departing.

Murphy’s Laws Places Travel

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices… in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Work

I’m from Los Angeles… I don’t trust any air I can’t see.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Places

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

Food/Drink Places

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Emotions England Money People Places Wealth

Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Hollywood Places

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Food/Drink Places

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Education Murphy’s Laws Places School

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad.

(1946 – 1990) English/Canadian writer & broadcaster
Canada Places

New York is not Mecca… it just smells like it.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Characteristics New York City Places

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Entertainment People Places

California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America Places

To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Places

'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
America Conflict War

A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.

Places Proverbs

We have no gay people in Russia; there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

Without geography you're nowhere.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Places Science/Weather

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot… but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Parents Places

No matter how many times I visit this great city I'm always struck by the same thing: a yellow taxi cab.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Places