Subject: Places (Page 17)

I’ve only been a New Yorker for ten years but the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
New York City People Places

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Housework Situations World

He was from Thailand or some other erotic place.

Malaprops Places

Trains in Britain can be late for all sorts of reasons: speed restrictions, livestock on the track, or a totally substandard rail infrastructure that’s publicly funded, privately run and answerable to no one… all sorts of reasons.

(1979 – ) English comedian & actor
England Places

Where I come from, the valleys are so narrow the dogs have to wag their tails up and down.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Places

I might just fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Malaprops Places

America's attic.

(1915 – 1979) English-born Canadian poet
Canada Places

What To Do When the Russians Come: A Survivor’s Guide

,
Book Titles Places

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Places

The Welsh are just Italians in the rain.

(1929 – ) British television & radio critic
People Places

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean, but that couldn't happen again; we taught them a lesson in 1918 and they've hardly bothered us since then.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Places

When they said Canada, I thought it was up in the mountains somewhere.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Canada Misspokements Places

It’s the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
America Animals Dogs Places

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Health Places

A hospital is no place to be sick.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Health Places

I came from a real tough neighborhood; in the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink Places

If banks are so good with numbers, why are there always eight windows and three tellers?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Places

If Jeffrey Dahmer lived in New York, New Yorkers would have been like, 'Hey, you think that apartment's available?'

comedian, television writer
New York City People Places

A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.

Places Proverbs

The French drink to get loosened up for an event, to celebrate and event, and even to recover from an event.

French commission of alcoholism
Alcohol Food/Drink People Places

Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Places