Subject: Places (Page 18)

The only place in the world where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing a ladder.

(1897-1962) American writer
Hollywood Insults Places

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence… sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Characteristics People Places

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Communication Intelligence New York City Reading/Writing

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Hollywood Insults Places

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Insults Places

New Jersey is to America as America is to the world.

(1977 – ) American television producer, writer & comedian
America Emotions Places World

I don't like Norwegians at all; the sun never sets, the bar never opens, and the whole country smells of kippers.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Places

It's the only place in the world where you walk in and the first thing you do is steal everything before you take your coat off.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime Places

I think the British have the distinction above all other nations of being able to put new wine into old bottles without bursting them.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Food/Drink People Places

I find it hard to say, because when I was there, it seemed to be shut.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef
Places

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above… so I never have to go upstairs.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places

Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff!"

Canada Places

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Health Old Places

Rome wasn’t born in a day.

professional baseball player
Malaprops Places

Zoo: A place devised for animals to study the habits of human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Definitions People Places

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People Places

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

It's possible to spend money anywhere in the world if you put your mind to it, something I proved conclusively by running up huge debts in Cincinnati.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Money Places Sports

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Age Children Family Marriage Places

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head’s showing and gone ‘Philip, look at me! I’m a stamp!'

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
England Miscellaneous