Subject: Places (Page 19)

In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, 'Sorry, we're open.’

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Food/Drink Places

My house is on the median strip of a highway; you don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places

In the city, a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Death Entertainment Places

China has a population of a billion people; that means even if you’re a one-in-a-million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Characteristics People Places

It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the D.T.'s begin.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health Hollywood Places

Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Places

It's [Honolulu] got everything: sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Places

I'm working on a marketing slogan for Saudi Arabia: What happens in Riyadh stays in Riyadh… with your hands

comedian
Places

The waiters in France could all be senators in the U.S.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Government Places

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places

Hell is paved with good samaritans.

Places

Powdered milk, powdered eggs, baby powder… what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

A man in a queue is as much the image of a true Briton as a man in a bull-ring is the image of a Spaniard.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
England People Places

In every country, they make fun of city; in U.S. you make fun of Cleveland; in Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
People Places

I bet The Walking Deadgets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f••king window, am I right?

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Time

Canadians are generally indistinguishable from Americans, and the surest way of telling the two apart is to make that observation to a Canadian.

Canadian physician & professor
People Places

Part-Time Woman Wanted: What a country… even transvestites can get work.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood – Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.

(1945 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Entertainment Hollywood Places

If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places