Subject: Places (Page 20)

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Housework Places

I love Mexico because it’s a giant dollar store.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Places Shopping

The splendor of an editor's speech and the splendor of his newspaper are inversely related to the distance between the city in which he makes his speech and the city in which he publishes his paper.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Places Reading/Writing Speech

Of course they have, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here talking to someone like you.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Characteristics England People

I really don't like living there; I have to for health reasons; I'm very paranoid, and New York's the only place where my fears are justified.

American comedian
Health New York City Places

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Time

New York, the nation's thyroid gland.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
New York City Places

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading; nobody does it so why talk about it?

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
England People Places Sex

We have a drinking game in Australia, it’s called drinking.

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Acting Hollywood Money Places

I dropped out of West Point to become a comedian… probably the greatest service I will ever do for my country.

(1955 – ) American comedian
America Entertainment Places

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Canada Education Learning

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.

(1924 – 2014) American actress & model
Divorce Hollywood Marriage Places

If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland; people in Scotland drink while they're drinking.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Food/Drink Places

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Health Places

1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws New York City Places

In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
New York City Places

Bay: A body of water surrounded by restaurants.

Definitions Places

Welcome to Hell… here's your accordion.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
Places

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Places

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Cold Places Science/Weather