Subject: Places (Page 20)

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Hollywood Marriage Places

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Places TV/Movie Quotes

Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed, which is mad because those places are really well lit

English comedian, writer & actor
England Places

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Places

You haven’t lived until you’ve died in California.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Life Places

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

We are not used to playing the kind of venues that don't have a drain in the middle of the floor.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Entertainment Music Places

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication England People Places Speech

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Places

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Activities Places Things Travel

I’ve still got a lot to learn about Washington… Thursday, I accidentally spent some of my own money.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Government Places

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Fools Intelligence Places

We’re the greatest country on Earth except when it comes to getting shit done.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Places

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

The people of this country have allowed football to get completely out of hand, and that’s fortunate for my bank account.

(1918 – 1995) American sports journalist & television commentator
America Football Places Sports

In Los Angeles, by the time you’re 35, you’re older than most of the buildings.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Age Old Places

Cambridge is the kind of place where you can walk into a children’s bookstore and find a self-help section.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Children Intelligence Places

The Americans are a funny lot; they drink whiskey to keep them warm, then they put ice in it to make it cool; then they put some sugar in it to make it sweet and then they put a slice of lemon in it to make it sour, then they say, “Here’s to you” and drink it themselves.

(1904 – 1976) Indian politician
America People Places

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold Places Science/Weather

Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Autos Driving Places

We have a firm commitment to Europe; we are a part of Europe.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Places