Subject: Places (Page 23)

We are not used to playing the kind of venues that don't have a drain in the middle of the floor.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Entertainment Music Places

If Moses would have walked two more miles, we'd have all the oil.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places

We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Misspokements Places

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment Hollywood Places

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Places

Sign over the gates of hell: “24-Hour Delivery.”

American writer
Places

Loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose.

(1909 – 1981) writer
Emotions Love Places

They're mad because they lost the Revolutionary War, and they should be, because there was only like nine of us.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
England Places

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Places

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Places

I enjoy being in America: it's fun, you know, because you have, you have so many things we never had in Russia — like warning shots.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director
Places Science/Weather

The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music People Places

When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land; they said, ‘Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes and when we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.

(1931 – ) South African social rights activist & Anglican bishop
People Places

I was in Kashmir last weekend… went to visit one of my sweaters.

(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Clothing Places

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is.

(1919 – 2010 ) England author
Communication Insults Places Reading/Writing

I grew up in Europe… where the history comes from.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
History Places Time

In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.

(1942 – ) British travel writer & novelist
Murphy’s Laws Places

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Girls People Places Women

We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.


cartoon character in The Simpsons (Julie Kavner)
People Places

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

(1934 – ) comedian
England People Places