Subject: Places (Page 23)

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Autos Places

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time… most unsolved.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Conflict New York City Places

The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear.

(1964 – ) Canadian writer & novelist
America Canada History People Places

It’s going to be a great country when they finish unpacking it.

(1943 – ) Canadian author & newsman
Canada Places

I'm the best heavyweight in Canada and I'll still be the best when I'm dead seven years.

Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Canada Places Sports

Hoboken – lovely town, often called 'the Tennessee of New Jersey.'

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Places

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
America Places Work

If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Places

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor
England People Places Relationships

Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication People Places

You might be a redneck if… directions to your house include "turn off the paved road.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

It's a scientific fact; for every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Hollywood Intelligence Places

Brooklyn praise is half slander.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land; they said, ‘Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes and when we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.

(1931 – ) South African social rights activist & Anglican bishop
People Places

Every time an Oscar is given out, an agent gets his wings.

(1948 – ) American actress & director
Entertainment Hollywood Places

Whatever organization we try to create, it always ends up looking like the Communist Party.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Government Places

Drug Kingpin Amado Fuentes died from 9 hours of liposuction and plastic surgery – or, as it's commonly known here in Beverly Hills, natural causes.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Death Health Places

America is a land where men govern, but women rule.

(1900 – 1969) American drama critic & author
America Men People Places Women

1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws New York City Places