Subject: Places (Page 24)

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States; ask any Indian.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
America Places Problems

There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class.

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
America Places

The greatest American superstition is belief in facts.

(1880 – 1946) Baltic German philosopher
America Beliefs Facts Places

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

The most serious charge which can be brought against New England is not Puritanism but February.

(1893 – 1970) American writer, critic & naturalist
Cold Places Science/Weather

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain.

(1880 – 1916) Irish economist, barrister, writer, soldier & politician
Places

He was once visiting the French Quarter during a hurricane and got blown behind a dumpster.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
People Places Sex

The definition of an atheist in Alabama is a person who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.

Georgia football coach
Beliefs Places

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Places

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

Definitions Places

I was born in Alabama, I was raised in Georgia; I'm so Southern I'm related to myself.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Places Relationships

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

(1942 – 2008) American author, producer, director & screenwriter
Places World

The Irish… don’t care for clean government; they want Irish government.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Government People Places

No matter how many times I visit this great city I'm always struck by the same thing: a yellow taxi cab.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Places

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Parents Places Young

I like American women; they do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing… like showering.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Activities Places Sex

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education England Places School

Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.

Definitions Places

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations – it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.

(1913 – 1987) Canadian journalist
Canada Places