Subject: Places (Page 26)

I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was… an Arctic region covered with ice.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
America Places

Hell may have a worse climate but undoubtedly the company is spritelier.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
People Places Situations

Sign over the gates of hell: “24-Hour Delivery.”

American writer
Places

Room service has an unlisted number.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Places

I would like to live in Manchester, England; the transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults Places

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Time

Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to just a brass pole.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Places

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and ray of sunshine.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
People Places

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Intelligence Life Places Science/Weather

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Government Places

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Health Old Places

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
America Death Places

The world gets better every day – then worse again in the evening.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Places Time World

I'm working on a marketing slogan for Saudi Arabia: What happens in Riyadh stays in Riyadh… with your hands

comedian
Places

In China, the piano piece ‘Chopsticks’ is known as ‘Knife and Fork.’

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Music Places

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People Places

America is still a land of promise, especially during a political campaign.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
America Government Places Politics

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Entertainment Life World

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America People President Success

You cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine; it is the country with the worst food after Finland.

(1932 – ) French statesman & president
England Food/Drink Places

I knew I'd been living in Berkeley too long when I saw a sign that said 'Free firewood' and my first thought was 'Who was Firewood and what did he do?'

(1926 – ) English painter
Places