Subject: Places (Page 26)

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading; nobody does it so why talk about it?

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
England People Places Sex

It's [Honolulu] got everything: sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Places

Hollywood is where they write the alibis before they write the story.

(1908 – 1942) American actress
Hollywood Places

The English contribution to world cuisine – the chip.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer
England Food/Drink Places

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places Speech

If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Places

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Places Science/Weather Things

I swam in the dead sea when it was only critically ill.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Activities Health Places

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Marriage Problems Sex World

Giving Northerners unbuttered instant grits is an old remedy for getting rid of tourists.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Food/Drink People Places

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
New York City Places

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot… but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Parents Places

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is, not even the Irish.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
People Places

In Scotland, there is no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Places Science/Weather

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Places

The English never smash in a face; they merely refrain from asking it to dinner.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

Do you think pandas know they’re Chinese and they’re taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Animals Places

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Housework Situations World

We have in England a curious belief in first-rate people, meaning all the people we do not know; and this consoles us for the undeniable second-rateness of the people we do know.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics England People Places