Subject: Places (Page 27)

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination.

(1912 – 2006) Romanian-born Canadian writer
Canada Insults

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold Places Science/Weather

In America, your work determines your marks; in Soviet Russia, Marx determines your work!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

That's still how Irish people are seen, as twinkly-eyed f**kers with a pig under their arm, high-stepping it around the world, going 'I'll paint your house now, but watch out, I might steal the ladder later, ohohoho!' – which is only half true!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Places

Every time an Oscar is given out, an agent gets his wings.

(1948 – ) American actress & director
Entertainment Hollywood Places

Tasmania is famous for its shape, which is the same shape as the pubic hair region on a woman's body, which I personally don't identify with; mine's more like a map of the former Soviet Union… not to scale.

(1978 – ) Australian comedian, writer & actress
Places

A New Zealander in a frenzy is an American in a coma.

(1970 – ) New Zealand stand-up comedian & radio & television personality
Characteristics Places World

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

We came up with Earth Day so we would have one day every year that would remind us what planet we were living on.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Places

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Food/Drink New York City Places

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Intelligence New York City Places

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
People Places Travel

Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Places Time

President Bush has just one question for the American voters: is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America Money

There are no good roles for Indians in Hollywood, unless you’re shooting at Jack Bauer or looking for White Castle.

American actor
Entertainment Hollywood People Places

We have a drinking game in Australia, it’s called drinking.

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

There’s lots of nice guys walking around Hollywood, but they ain’t eating

(1898 –1985) American film director & producer
Hollywood People Places

It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there.

(1942 – ) Canadian politician
Places World