Subject: Places (Page 29)

The only cultural advantage L.A. has over New York is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Driving New York City Places

It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Places Speech

Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Eating Food/Drink People Places

I'd rather be a lamppost in Denver than the mayor of Philadelphia.

American professional boxer
Boxing Insults Places Sports

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Canada People Places

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

There is no question that there is an unseen world; the problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Places

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
People Places Travel

Ten men in the country could buy the world and ten million can’t buy enough to eat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money People Places Poverty

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Places

I don’t like the Switzerland: it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Places

In a British hotel, the words “Can I help you sir?” mean roughly: “What the hell do you want?”

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Places

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E – I – E – I – O.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Places

Neutral countries – aren’t.

Government Military Murphy’s Laws Places

According to a new geographic literacy study 4 out of 10 American students couldn't find Iraq on a map; however 10 out of 10 Mexicans could find the U.S. without a map.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Education Places

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
England Food/Drink Places

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

I knew these Siamese twins; they moved to England, so the other one could drive.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Driving England Places

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
People Places

All politics is local.

Government Murphy’s Laws Places Politics

The A's leave after this game for Cleveland. It was only by a 13-12 vote that they decided to go.

Oakland A's announcer
Baseball Places Sports