Subject: Places (Page 30)

The suburbs are where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Places

Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
England Food/Drink Places

When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries.

(1921 – 1992) New Zealand prime minister
Places

As you know President Bush is on a tour of Europe; he says he's hoping to see the whole country.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Insults Places

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you; if he's not, why embarrass him by asking?

(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
People Places

In Los Angeles, by the time you’re 35, you’re older than most of the buildings.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Age Old Places

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Intelligence New York City Places

I was just vacationing in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal; let me rephrase that – I was just vacationing in Amsterdam because prostitution is legal.

American comedian & writer
Activities Places Travel

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Places

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
America England Food/Drink Places

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Entertainment Life World

What To Do When the Russians Come: A Survivor’s Guide

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Book Titles Places

There are no eccentrics in the suburbs.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Intelligence People Places

The only place in the world where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing a ladder.

(1897-1962) American writer
Hollywood Insults Places

Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to just a brass pole.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Places

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
America Places Television

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box whilst a draft dodger lives in the White House.

America Places Situations

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Autos People Places

Scotland, the country where they fry the food five times to make sure it’s dead.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Places

Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Beliefs Misspokements People Places