Subject: Places (Page 31)

We have no gay people in Russia; there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that [Adolf Hitler] was a German and [Ludwig van Beethoven] an Austrian.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Places

Hell may have a worse climate but undoubtedly the company is spritelier.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
People Places Situations

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Government Places

Here [in Paris] they hang a man first, and try him afterward.

(1622 – 1673) French playwright & actor
Government Law Places

White Sqan,  Washington

Places

The only good thing about playing for Cleveland is you don't have to make road trips there.

American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

scriptwriter & author
Places Situations

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Government Places

According to modern astronomers, space is finite; this is a very comforting thought – particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Places Science/Weather

There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class.

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
America Places

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Health Money Places

Where the hell is Australia anyway?

(1981 – ) American singer
Places

Every time an Oscar is given out, an agent gets his wings.

(1948 – ) American actress & director
Entertainment Hollywood Places

The average Italian…. is a cowardly baritone who consumes 78.3 kilometers of carbohydrates a month and drives about in a car slightly smaller than he is, looking for a divorce.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
People Places

Addresses: Items given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Places

I did not fully understand the dread term 'terminal illness' until I saw Heathrow Airport for myself.

(1935 – 1994) English writer
Health Places

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
America Places Sports

Americans always try to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
America People Places