Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Places
(Page 31)
I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.
George W. Bush
(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Age
Friends
People
Places
President
Buddies
West Texas
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America
Places
California
Freeze
State
A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.
German proverb
Places
Proverbs
Countries
We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.
Charles 'Chic' Murray
(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals
Places
House
Pigeons
Stained glass
'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
America
Conflict
War
Family business
Presidents Bush
The English find ill-health not only interesting but respectable and often experience death in the effort to avoid a fuss.
Pamela Frankau
(1908 – 1967) English novelist
England
Health
People
Places
The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs
New York City
Places
Religion
Jews
Passover
It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions
Happiness
Places
Kansas City
Relatives
Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Beliefs
Misspokements
People
Places
Louisiana
Racism
Collectable Spoons of the 3rd Reich
James Yannes
Book Titles
Places
Germany
Spoons
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
David Letterman
(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Places
Autumn
Birds
Los Angeles
Ignorant people in preppy clothes are more dangerous to America than oil embargoes.
V.S. Naipaul
(1932 – ) Trinidad-born British writer
America
People
Places
Washington is a place where men praise courage and act on elaborate personal cost-benefit calculations.
John Kenneth Galbraith
(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist
Government
Places
Washington
World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
World
I came from a real tough neighborhood; I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics
Places
Hands
Neighborhood
I couldn't settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country.
Ian Rush
Welsh football player
Misspokements
Places
Italy
Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish.
Henry Miller
(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Eating
Food/Drink
People
Places
Americans
What a town. They boo Willie Mays and cheer Khrushchev.
Frank Coniff
New York writer
Places
Sports
On San Francisco
Hell is a place where the motorists are French, the policemen are German, and the cooks are English.
Anonymous
England
France
Germany
Hell
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Johnny Carson
(1925 – 2005) television host
New York City
People
Places
From the prairies, to the oceans,
wide
with foam.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
America
Malaprops
Places
White with foam
Page 31 of 46
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