Subject: Places (Page 34)

If you buy your July 4 supplies at Walmart you can celebrate our independence from Britain and our dependence on China at the same time.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Places

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

Canadians do not like heroes, and so they do not have them.

(1912 – 1995) Canadian historical writer, essayist & literary critic
People Places

There is no hell… there is only France.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Insults Places

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

My God, we've had cloning in the South for years… it's called cousins.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
America Places Relationships Science/Weather

Socialite: Whatever possessed you to be born in a place like Lowell, Massachusetts?

Whistler: I wished to be near my mother.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Family Mothers Places

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Emotions England Money People Places Wealth

Florida: God's waiting room.

Definitions Places

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
America Golf Government Sports

The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America Appearance Government Places President

One of these days the people of Louisiana are going to get good government – and they aren’t going to like it.

(1893 – 1935) U.S. governor & senator (Louisiana)
Government Places

The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country… and we haven’t seen them since.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
America Intelligence Places

The best that can be said for Norwegian television is that it gives you the sensation of a coma without the worry and inconvenience

American author
Places Television

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Beliefs Places

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places

Apartment Depot… is just a big warehouse with a whole lot of people standing around saying, "We don't have to fix shit.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Places

We are not used to playing the kind of venues that don't have a drain in the middle of the floor.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Entertainment Music Places

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials.

(1931 – 2001) Canadian author, screenwriter & essayist
Canada Characteristics People Places

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Girls People Places Women

The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Autos New York City Places