Subject: Places (Page 35)

I came from a real tough neighborhood; on my street, the kids take hubcaps – from moving cars.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Places Things

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
America Autos People

Rome wasn’t born in a day.

professional baseball player
Malaprops Places

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.

(1918 – 1990) American actress & singer
Emotions Love Places World

For the white people, it would be like if you were going to Vermont.

American stand-up comedian
People Places

I’m English, but I want to let you know that even though I’m English, I’m not here to solve a murder mystery.

comedian
England People Places

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark.

(1868-1954) professor & writer
Insults Places

Beverly Hills is so exclusive… their fire department won’t make house calls.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Hollywood Places

If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Places

The Devil himself had probably re-designed Hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts.

(1928 – ) English author
Places

Socialite: Whatever possessed you to be born in a place like Lowell, Massachusetts?

Whistler: I wished to be near my mother.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Family Mothers Places

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Insults People

I got wasted last night, and I hit an animal with my car… in the lobby of Caesar's Palace.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Animals Entertainment Places

If you find an Australian indoors, it’s a fair bet that he will have a glass in his hand.

(1942 – ) British politician
Food/Drink People Places

I'm working on a marketing slogan for Saudi Arabia: What happens in Riyadh stays in Riyadh… with your hands

comedian
Places

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that's why the dogs are so fast.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Places

All politics is local.

Government Murphy’s Laws Places Politics

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Autos New York City Situations

The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that [Adolf Hitler] was a German and [Ludwig van Beethoven] an Austrian.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Places

It's so flat you can look down the road and see the back of your head!

Expressions Places

If banks are so good with numbers, why are there always eight windows and three tellers?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Places