Subject: Places (Page 36)

Americans always try to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
America People Places

I’ve still got a lot to learn about Washington… Thursday, I accidentally spent some of my own money.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Government Places

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Places

If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland; people in Scotland drink while they're drinking.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Food/Drink Places

I came from a real tough neighborhood; in the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink Places

I didn’t even know Elvis was from Memphis; I though he was from Tennessee.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Places Yogi-isms

We would need less gun control is we had better birth control.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
America Places

It was a small town: Ferguson, Ohio: when you entered there was a big sign and it said, “Welcome to Ferguson… Beware of the Dog.”

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Places

In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is; that is what makes America what it is.

(1874 – 1946) American art collector and writer of novels, poetry & plays
America Places

Englishmen think over a compliment for a week, so that by the time they pay it, it is addled, like a bad egg.

(1863 – 1930) British novelist & playwright
England People Places

The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear.

(1964 – ) Canadian writer & novelist
America Canada History People Places

Some men are all right in their place… if they only knew the right places!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Places

The people of Crete, unfortunately, make more history than they can consume locally.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Places

I've got to tell you, that's a gorgeous four-and-a-half hour drive in from the airport.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Places

In Scotland we have a verdict ‘not proven;’ that means ‘not guilty, but don’t do it again.’

Law Places

Dubai is what would happen if you gave a 12-year-old a trillion dollars to redecorate his bedroom.

(1619 – 1683) French statesman
Places

Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.

Definitions Places

You haven’t lived until you’ve died in California.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Life Places

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Children Family Places

In Scotland, there is no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Places Science/Weather