Subject: Places (Page 36)

It’s going to be a great country when they finish unpacking it.

(1943 – ) Canadian author & newsman
Canada Places

When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show; if you're born in America you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
America Places

One reason that Finland produces such great runners is that back home it costs $2.40 for gas.

Finnish marathon runner
Places Sports

To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Places

Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.

(1950 – ) American politician & 47th governor of Texas
Misspokements Places

I don't want to brag, but I do speak Pig Latin; I mean, I'm not fluent, but I'm sure if I ever went there, I could get by.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Communication Language Places Speech

I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside “Made around the corner.”

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Places

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations – it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.

(1913 – 1987) Canadian journalist
Canada Places

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
America Democracy Elections/Voting Government Places War World

Washington is a much better place if you are asking questions rather than answering them.

Murphy’s Laws Places

In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities America Places Travel

Running for senator in New York is like bobbing for piranhas.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government New York City Places

We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Misspokements Places

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

They're mad because they lost the Revolutionary War, and they should be, because there was only like nine of us.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
England Places

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

Definitions Places

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E – I – E – I – O.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Places

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Places

The German asparagus are fabulous.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Food/Drink Places Speech

I was in Kashmir last weekend… went to visit one of my sweaters.

(1947 — ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Clothing Places

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Places