Subject: Places (Page 37)

You always find something in the last place you look.

Murphy’s Laws Places Things

What this world needs is a damned good plague.

Health Murphy’s Laws Places World

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Food/Drink Places

There are no good roles for Indians in Hollywood, unless you’re shooting at Jack Bauer or looking for White Castle.

American actor
Entertainment Hollywood People Places

If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
World Yogi-isms

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education England Places School

I bet The Walking Deadgets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f••king window, am I right?

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places

One of these days the people of Louisiana are going to get good government – and they aren’t going to like it.

(1893 – 1935) U.S. governor & senator (Louisiana)
Government Places

Hollywood is bounded on the north, south, east and west by agents.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Hollywood Places

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Places

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

In Milan, traffic lights are instructions; in Rome, they are suggestions; in Naples, they are Christmas decorations.

(1942 – ) Italian politician
Places

New York… when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
New York City Places

In every country, they make fun of city; in U.S. you make fun of Cleveland; in Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

I asked the barmaid for a quickie; the man next to me said, 'It's pronounced quiche.'


Communication Food/Drink Places Speech

Venezuela! Great, that's the Italian city with the guys in the boats, right?

American boxing promoter
Boxing Misspokements Places Sports

Experts in advanced countries underestimate by a factor of 2 to 4 the ability of people in underdeveloped countries to do anything technical.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places

Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
America Places

Toronto is a kind of New York operated by the Swiss.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Places

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

(1925 – 2005) television host
New York City People Places

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Language Misspokements Places