Subject: Places (Page 37)

Trains in Britain can be late for all sorts of reasons: speed restrictions, livestock on the track, or a totally substandard rail infrastructure that’s publicly funded, privately run and answerable to no one… all sorts of reasons.

(1979 – ) English comedian & actor
England Places

First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty sure a guy came up with that name.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Men People Places

It is not necessary to have relatives in Kansas City to be unhappy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Family Insults Places Relationships

The trees are so fer apart the woodpeckers got to tote their lunch.

(1902 – 1973) American actress
Places TV/Movie Quotes

If you did manage to get any good shots, they will be ruined when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all of the dark leaks out.

Murphy’s Laws Places

What this world needs is a damned good plague.

Murphy’s Laws World

I miss America. I miss crime and murder. I miss Philadelphia. There hasn't been a brutal stabbing or anything here the last 24 hours. I've missed it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Places Sports

They added up all the people in this country who consider themselves a minority and it added up to more than the population of the country.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America People Places

When you get a mammogram there, it comes with a two-drink minimum.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Places

I think the British have the distinction above all other nations of being able to put new wine into old bottles without bursting them.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Food/Drink People Places

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Places

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Acting Hollywood Money Places

They live so deep in the woods they kept possums as yard dogs.

Animals Expressions Places Situations

Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can't dress.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing England Insults Places

In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Places Time

The sun—you live about three quarters of a mile from it.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Places

They christened their game ‘golf’ because they were Scottish and reveled in meaningless Celtic noises in the back of the throat.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Golf Places Sports

It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Happiness Places

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Age Children Family Marriage Places

You haven’t lived until you’ve died in California.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Life Places

Drug Kingpin Amado Fuentes died from 9 hours of liposuction and plastic surgery – or, as it's commonly known here in Beverly Hills, natural causes.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Death Health Places