Subject: Places (Page 38)

If you take a oriental and turn him around so he faces west, does he become disoriented?


People Places

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

… as American as English muffins and French toast.

(1935 – ) English critic & author
America Places

I'm the best heavyweight in Canada and I'll still be the best when I'm dead seven years.

Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Canada Places Sports

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People Places

The Canadian military is like Switzerland's… without the knife.

Canadian comedian & author
Canada Government

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Places

I came from a real tough neighborhood; every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places

I get to go to lots of overseas places… like Canada.

(1981 – ) American singer
Intelligence Misspokements Places

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Entertainment Life World

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75; walked back out in the street – genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Money New York City Places

Environmentalists say that every day an area the size of Wales is destroyed… why is it never Wales.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Places

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

(1942 – 2008) American author, producer, director & screenwriter
Places World

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Intelligence Life Places Science/Weather

You could go out at four in the morning, after a nuclear bomb destroys the entire eastern seaboard, and the Triborough Bridge would be jammed.

(1960 – ) American comedian
New York City Places

Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed, which is mad because those places are really well lit

English comedian, writer & actor
England Places

I’ve been to Canada, and I’ve always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Canada Places

Do you think pandas know they’re Chinese and they’re taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Animals Places

Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.

(1950 – ) American politician & 47th governor of Texas
Misspokements Places

That is what has made America last these past 200 centuries.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
America Misspokements Places