Subject: Places (Page 39)

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
People Places

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

Washington is a much better place if you are asking questions rather than answering them.

Murphy’s Laws Places

I came from a real tough neighborhood; I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Age Friends People Places President

I know I've got a lock on the Dutch Hall of Fame.

Dutch-born American baseball pitcher
Baseball Places Sports

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places Problems Success World

It's so flat you can look down the road and see the back of your head!

Expressions Places

You gotta live somewhere.

(1948 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Places

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

I have just returned from Boston; it is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Insults Places

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Housework Situations World

China has a population of a billion people; that means even if you’re a one-in-a-million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Characteristics People Places

In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places Wordplay

I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was… an Arctic region covered with ice.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
America Places

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Places

We do not go in for philosophy in this country… we have our own system… it’s called wondering.

(1968 – ) English comedian & television personality
England Places

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

American author
Entertainment Music Places

The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country… and we haven’t seen them since.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
America Intelligence Places

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Canada Hockey Places Science/Weather Sports