Subject: Places (Page 39)

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

The suburbs are where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Places

I take my wife everywhere… but she keeps finding her way back.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Places Wives

A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Conflict Government Places

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he’s lonely.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Places

Well, I learned a lot… I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views; you’d be surprised, they’re all individual countries.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Places

I come from New York where, if you fall down, someone will pick you up by your wallet.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach
New York City Places

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.

(1924 – 2014) American actress & model
Divorce Hollywood Marriage Places

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish… my dreams were broadcast all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Situations Sleep World

If you did manage to get any good shots, they will be ruined when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all of the dark leaks out.

Murphy’s Laws Places

Every frozen yogurt store feels like you're hanging out inside a Japanese girl's backpack.

American comedian
Places

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Autos New York City Situations

What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? … Asif.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Honesty People Places

Hollywood is the only place where you can wake up in the morning and hear the birds coughing in the trees.

(1889 – 1958) American actor
Hollywood Places

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Cold Places Science/Weather

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

I think, in 10 years, hell's gonna be the only place left where you can still smoke.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Activities Future Places Time

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Places Science/Weather

From the prairies, to the oceans, wide with foam.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
America Malaprops Places

The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.

Appearance Body Murphy’s Laws Places Women World