Subject: Places (Page 4)

A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough, let's go west.' on how Chicago got started

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Places Situations

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to accommodate all these singing shows.

(1974 – ) American comedian
America Places Success

Given the unlikely options of attending a funeral or a sex orgy, a true Irishman will always opt for the funeral.

(1928 – 2002) Irish playwright, novelist & essayist
People Places

They live so deep in the woods they kept possums as yard dogs.

Animals Expressions Places Situations

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places Politics

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places Problems Success World

The English never smash in a face; they merely refrain from asking it to dinner.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication England People Places Speech

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Health Places

Look at a sweater made in Ireland… it’s like a turtleneck made out o Brillo pads. – On Irish people not wanting comfort

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
People Places

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America New York City Places Self

President Bush and the Indian prime minister agreed Thursday on a landmark nuclear energy agreement in which the U.S. would share its nuclear know-how and fuel with India. And, in exchange, India would take all our jobs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Places TV/Movie Quotes

When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show; if you're born in America you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
America Places

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Hollywood Places Time

I live so far out of town, the mailman mails me my letters.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Places

The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Government Law Places

The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

Murphy’s Laws Places Things

I sometimes think that the saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities – a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
America Places

No matter how many times I visit this great city I'm always struck by the same thing: a yellow taxi cab.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Places

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Girls Places

England, the heart of a rabbit in the body of a lion.

England Places