Subject: Places (Page 40)

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and ray of sunshine.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
People Places

… the only California houses on the market for less than a million dollars are those on fire… these generally go for six hundred thousand.

Money Places

President Bush has just one question for the American voters: is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America Money

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot,
 then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Places Things

Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Eating Food/Drink People Places

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is, not even the Irish.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
People Places

The town was so small the Entering and Leaving signs were on the same pole.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Places

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot… but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Parents Places

When they said Canada, I thought it was up in the mountains somewhere.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Canada Misspokements Places

President Bush and the Indian prime minister agreed Thursday on a landmark nuclear energy agreement in which the U.S. would share its nuclear know-how and fuel with India. And, in exchange, India would take all our jobs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Places TV/Movie Quotes

The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.

(1888 – 1989) American composer & lyricist
People Places World

I've seen insects walking around with kneepads.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Animals Exaggerations Places

On New Year’s Eve, people in New Jersey stay up ‘til midnight and watch their hopes drop.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Places

Two hundred million Americans, and there ain’t two good catchers among ‘em.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
America Baseball People Sports

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland.

(1937 – 2012) New Zealand author
America Canada Places

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Marriage Places

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
People Places

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
Men People Places World