Subject: Places (Page 42)

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
New York City Places

A New Zealander in a frenzy is an American in a coma.

(1970 – ) New Zealand stand-up comedian & radio & television personality
Characteristics Places World

Stand on two phone books almost anywhere in Iowa and you get a view.

American author
Places

You might be a redneck if… you think the French Riviera is a foreign car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Places Rednecks Things

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Family Fathers Mothers World

They say if the Swiss had designed these mountains… they’d be flatter.

(1941 – ) novelist
People Places

I just flew in from New York City, and boy is my middle finger tired.

comedian
New York City Places

It is so flat, you can stand on a milk crate and watch your dog run away for three days.

Expressions Places

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
England Food/Drink Places

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places

Venezuela! Great, that's the Italian city with the guys in the boats, right?

American boxing promoter
Boxing Misspokements Places Sports

Boston's freeway system was clearly designed by a person who had spent his childhood crashing toy trains.

American author
Places Things

Given the unlikely options of attending a funeral or a sex orgy, a true Irishman will always opt for the funeral.

(1928 – 2002) Irish playwright, novelist & essayist
People Places

I did not fully understand the dread term 'terminal illness' until I saw Heathrow Airport for myself.

(1935 – 1994) English writer
Health Places

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.

Places Proverbs

Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun.

Places Proverbs

The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.

Irish music columnist & journalist
America England Places

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Food/Drink Places

I want to succeed in America where, unlike Britain, they do not regard ambition as being the same as eating babies.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
America Places Success

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Places