Subject: Places (Page 42)

America – a country that has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

(1905 – 1970) American writer
America Places

I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places World

We have no gay people in Russia; there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that [Adolf Hitler] was a German and [Ludwig van Beethoven] an Austrian.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Places

Russian Communism is the illegitimate child of Karl Marx and Catherine the Great.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Government Places

An Iranian moderate is one that has run out of ammunition.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Arms Conflict Government People Places

Here [in Paris] they hang a man first, and try him afterward.

(1622 – 1673) French playwright & actor
Government Law Places

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Insults People

That is what has made America last these past 200 centuries.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
America Misspokements Places

I was well warned about English food, so it did not surprise me, but I do wonder sometimes, how they ever manage to prise [lever] it up long enough to get a plate under it.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

Spain's new Prime Minister … announced he will soon call back Spain's 1300 troops from Iraq… meaning the coalition of the willing is fast turning into a duet of the stubborn.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government Places Politics Situations

The Canadian military is like Switzerland's… without the knife.

Canadian comedian & author
Canada Government

We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.


cartoon character in The Simpsons (Julie Kavner)
People Places

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence… sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Characteristics People Places

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

Food/Drink Places

You know I'm the only Iraqi comedian… yeah true… at least that makes us three more than Germany.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Occupations People Places Work

L.A. is very dangerous; I carry a gun in my car, that way, in case the police stop me, I can fend them off until the press gets there.

American actor & writer
Arms Conflict Places

Switzerland is simply a large humpy, solid rock, with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? … are they afraid someone will clean them?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Places

Toronto is a kind of New York operated by the Swiss.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Places

Space is almost infinite; as a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Places Science/Weather