Subject: Places (Page 43)

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
America Characteristics England Husbands Women

There’s lots of nice guys walking around Hollywood, but they ain’t eating

(1898 –1985) American film director & producer
Hollywood People Places

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Places Time

Berlioz, musically speaking, is a lunatic; a classical composer only in Paris, the great city of quacks.

Entertainment Insults Music Places

The Irish people do not gladly suffer common sense.

(1878 – 1957) Irish poet, author, athlete & politician
Intelligence People Places

Of course… once.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold, I almost got married.

(1920 – 2006) American actress
Cold England Places Science/Weather

America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.

American folksinger & activist
America Places

There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
America Conflict Places War World

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

Florida: God's waiting room.

Definitions Places

I’m so American that I’m barely informed enough to have an opinion, but entitled enough to yell about it.

American comedian
America Places

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Entertainment Life World

America: A land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, and won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

America Definitions Places

America: Twenty million illegal aliens can’t be wrong!”

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
America Places

We know Jesus can’t have been English; he is always wearing sandals, but never with socks.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer
Appearance England Places

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
People Places

The town was so small the Entering and Leaving signs were on the same pole.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Places

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Places