Subject: Places (Page 43)

Quebec is part of Canada as much as a cat in the mouth of a crocodile is a part of the crocodile

(1942 – ) Canadian politician
Canada Places

America never lost a war or won a peace conference.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
America Conflict Places War

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above… so I never have to go upstairs.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places

The French drink to get loosened up for an event, to celebrate and event, and even to recover from an event.

French commission of alcoholism
Alcohol Food/Drink People Places

In America, your work determines your marks; in Soviet Russia, Marx determines your work!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

Given the unlikely options of attending a funeral or a sex orgy, a true Irishman will always opt for the funeral.

(1928 – 2002) Irish playwright, novelist & essayist
People Places

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places Politics

Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed, which is mad because those places are really well lit

English comedian, writer & actor
England Places

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

American author
Entertainment Music Places

Remember Pearl Island.

Malaprops Places

New York, the nation's thyroid gland.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
New York City Places

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be.

(1878 – 1954) American actor of stage, screen & radio
Hollywood People Places

I'm working on a marketing slogan for Saudi Arabia: What happens in Riyadh stays in Riyadh… with your hands

comedian
Places

I knew I'd been living in Berkeley too long when I saw a sign that said 'Free firewood' and my first thought was 'Who was Firewood and what did he do?'

(1926 – ) English painter
Places

We’re not used to weather in June in this country.

professional football player, coach & executive
England Misspokements Places Science/Weather

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Hollywood Places Success

It was a small town: Ferguson, Ohio: when you entered there was a big sign and it said, “Welcome to Ferguson… Beware of the Dog.”

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Places

According to legend, Telford is so dull that the bypass was built before the town.

Places

Of course… once.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

I'd rather be a lamppost in Denver than the mayor of Philadelphia.

American professional boxer
Boxing Insults Places Sports

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

America Murphy’s Laws People