Subject: Places (Page 43)

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Places

I do all my writing in bed; everybody knows I do my best work there.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Places Reading/Writing

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.

(1934 – 1997) journalist
Activities America Autos Places Travel

Room service has an unlisted number.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Places

Addresses: Items given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Places

You could go out at four in the morning, after a nuclear bomb destroys the entire eastern seaboard, and the Triborough Bridge would be jammed.

(1960 – ) American comedian
New York City Places

Apartment Depot… is just a big warehouse with a whole lot of people standing around saying, "We don't have to fix shit.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Places

And later on, it’s the Syracuse Orangemen against the Indiana Hoosiers from Hawaii.

Misspokements Places

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

(1908 – 1992) English actor
Food/Drink Places

If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.

(1965 – ) American actor, writer & comedian
Places

I just flew in from New York City, and boy is my middle finger tired.

comedian
New York City Places

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Children Family Places

I couldn't settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country.

Welsh football player
Misspokements Places

I asked the Scottish Football Association if San Marino was a republic or a principality; they said it was a technicality.

Scottish football commentator
Insults Places

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be.

(1878 – 1954) American actor of stage, screen & radio
Hollywood People Places

… as American as English muffins and French toast.

(1935 – ) English critic & author
America Places

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark.

(1868-1954) professor & writer
Insults Places

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator
Places

In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist , or is a therapist going to a therapist.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Occupations People Places Work

There are more acres of forestland in America today than when Columbus discovered the continent in 1492.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Lies Places Stupidity

Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication People Places