Subject: Places (Page 45)

The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it.

(the Science Guy) (1955 – ) American science educator, writer & scientist

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright

There are still parts of Wales where the only concession to gaiety is a striped shroud.

(1913 – 1981) Welsh writer

The world is round; it has no point.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

The greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

1867 – 1931) English novelist

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

scriptwriter & author

There is no room for amateurs… even in crossing the streets.

(1934 – ) American actor

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter

But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author

My boyfriend's kids are half-Swedish, half-Norwegian: "They're see-through."

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor

Small Town: A place where everybody knows the troubles you’ve seen.

Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.


(1885 – 1945) U.S. Army general

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian

No one ever went broke in Hollywood underestimating the intelligence of the public.

(1883 – 1963) American writer & hostess

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

(1925 – 2005) television host

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me; I said, “Well, what do you need?”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

In China, the piano piece ‘Chopsticks’ is known as ‘Knife and Fork.’

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter

Canada is all right really, though not for the whole weekend.

(1870 – 1916) British writer