Subject: Places (Page 45)

In America, we won't let somebody who's terminally ill have the right to take their own life… but yet, we'll let Evel Knievel jump over the Grand Canyon with a damn moped.

American stand-up comedian
America Places

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he’s lonely.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Places

We’re not used to weather in June in this country.

professional football player, coach & executive
England Misspokements Places Science/Weather

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
England Food/Drink Places

I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places World

The Irish people do not gladly suffer common sense.

(1878 – 1957) Irish poet, author, athlete & politician
Intelligence People Places

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
People Places Situations

It is not a fragrant world.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Characteristics Life Places World

A trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Hollywood Insults Places

The train system is so chronic now, that any journey you undertake by train in Britain is identical to the one taken by Omar Sharif in Doctor Zhivago.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer
England Places

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot… but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Parents Places

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Definitions Health Places

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Housework Places

The suburbs are like the bleacher seats of life.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
America Places

If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Money Places Wealth

Graceland is so tacky, Puerto Rican people walk out of there going, 'That's some tacky stuff there, man.'

American comedian & author
Characteristics Places

In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist , or is a therapist going to a therapist.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Occupations People Places Work

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

I'm from one of those places where the whole number system consists of one, two and a shitload.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Education Places