Subject: Places (Page 5)

For the white people, it would be like if you were going to Vermont.

American stand-up comedian
People Places

As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Places

The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.

Irish music columnist & journalist
America England Places

A hospital is no place to be sick.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Health Places

Tell me where you want to go. If they have a team, I'll schedule them.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

You couldn't be a racist and live in L.A.; you'd be exhausted.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Places

A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care. 

Canadian comedian & author
America Canada People Places

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices… in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Work

We humans do not need to leave Earth to get to a hostile, deadly, alien environment; we already have Miami.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Places

The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.

(1894 – 1972) King of the United Kingdom
America Children Family Parents People Places

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Places TV/Movie Quotes

The waiters in France could all be senators in the U.S.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Government Places

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

(1925 – 2005) television host
Hollywood Places Success

If you live in Birmingham [England], then being awake is not necessarily a desirable state.


Insults Places

I was just vacationing in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal; let me rephrase that – I was just vacationing in Amsterdam because prostitution is legal.

American comedian & writer
Activities Places Travel

Which of the Himalayas is the shortest?

comedian
Places

If you find an Australian indoors, it’s a fair bet that he will have a glass in his hand.

(1942 – ) British politician
Food/Drink People Places

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Clothing Definitions Places

He was once visiting the French Quarter during a hurricane and got blown behind a dumpster.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
People Places Sex

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places