Subject: Places (Page 5)

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Autos Places

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment Hollywood Places

The only good thing about playing for Cleveland is you don't have to make road trips there.

American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places Problems Success World

I don't like Norwegians at all; the sun never sets, the bar never opens, and the whole country smells of kippers.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Places

1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws New York City Places

I take my wife everywhere… but she keeps finding her way back.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Places Wives

As we work and sightsee on America’s largest island, we’ll get to view more majestic bears, so now is a good time to draw attention to the political equivalent of the species.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Misspokements Places

Scotland: That garret of the earth – that knuckle-end of England – that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Insults Places

In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places Science/Weather

You couldn't be a racist and live in L.A.; you'd be exhausted.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Places

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
America Characteristics England Husbands Women

Texas has a lot of electrical votes.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Government Malaprops Places Yogi-isms

We'll explain the appeal of curling to you if you explain the appeal of the National Rifle Association to us.

(1945 – ) Canadian radio personality
Canada Places

There are more acres of forestland in America today than when Columbus discovered the continent in 1492.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Lies Places Stupidity

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Insults Places

It is so flat, you can stand on a milk crate and watch your dog run away for three days.

Expressions Places

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Communication Intelligence New York City Reading/Writing

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Acting Hollywood Money Places

You might be a redneck if… the biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-Mart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

On New Year’s Eve, people in New Jersey stay up ‘til midnight and watch their hopes drop.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Places