Subject: Places (Page 7)

If you live to be ninety in England and can still eat a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Age England Old Places

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Places

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places World

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Insults Places

Sign over the gates of hell: “24-Hour Delivery.”

American writer
Places

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

American author
Entertainment Music Places

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Hollywood Places Success

Socialite: Whatever possessed you to be born in a place like Lowell, Massachusetts?

Whistler: I wished to be near my mother.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Family Mothers Places

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
People Places

I knew these Siamese twins; they moved to England, so the other one could drive.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Driving England Places

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

Definitions Places

Baseball is the belly of society. Straighten out baseball and you'll straighten out the rest of the world.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Places Sports World

Loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose.

(1909 – 1981) writer
Emotions Love Places

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America Places

The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Autos New York City Places

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Places

This island is mainly made of coal and surrounded by fish; only an organizing genius could produce a shortage of coal and fish at the same time.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Places Problems