Subject: Places (Page 7)

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Cold Places Science/Weather

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

America Murphy’s Laws People

A city where everyone mutinies but no one deserts.

(1885 –1974) American cartoonist, humor writer & radio personality
New York City Places

If banks are so good with numbers, why are there always eight windows and three tellers?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Places

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark.

(1868-1954) professor & writer
Insults Places

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Places

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. Well, I didn't live in this century.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America History Misspokements Places

New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
New York City People Places

You could go out at four in the morning, after a nuclear bomb destroys the entire eastern seaboard, and the Triborough Bridge would be jammed.

(1960 – ) American comedian
New York City Places

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Places World

A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care. 

Canadian comedian & author
America Canada People Places

Englishmen think over a compliment for a week, so that by the time they pay it, it is addled, like a bad egg.

(1863 – 1930) British novelist & playwright
England People Places

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

I don't want to brag, but I do speak Pig Latin; I mean, I'm not fluent, but I'm sure if I ever went there, I could get by.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Communication Language Places Speech

That's still how Irish people are seen, as twinkly-eyed f**kers with a pig under their arm, high-stepping it around the world, going 'I'll paint your house now, but watch out, I might steal the ladder later, ohohoho!' – which is only half true!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Places

The thing I love about Vegas is that it’s a melting pot; it’s like working Ellis Island.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Places

I like the French/British relationship to a very old married couple who often think of killing each other but would never dream of divorce.

(1948 – ) British politician
England Places

I like Mexico; it’s so… Mexican.

(1908 – 1990) American actress
Places TV/Movie Quotes

No one ever went broke in Hollywood underestimating the intelligence of the public.

(1883 – 1963) American writer & hostess
Hollywood Intelligence People Places

I’ve now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones… unfortunately, it’s a lower case l.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Places