Subject: Places (Page 9)

The first time I ever came into a game there [Yankee Stadium], I got in the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball New York City Places Sports

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Clothing Communication Lies Truth World

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago, because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Places Politics

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America New York City Places Self

No other country would use their technology to invent a fat substitute that when you put it on potato chips causes involuntary loose stools.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Places

The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Insults Places

I live in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles… it’s called Los Angeles.

(1972 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places

If you live in Birmingham [England], then being awake is not necessarily a desirable state.


Insults Places

'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
America Conflict War

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain.

(1880 – 1916) Irish economist, barrister, writer, soldier & politician
Places

I come from a small town whose population never changed; each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.

American humorist
Places

I’ve now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones… unfortunately, it’s a lower case l.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Places

According to a new geographic literacy study 4 out of 10 American students couldn't find Iraq on a map; however 10 out of 10 Mexicans could find the U.S. without a map.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Education Places

What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? … Asif.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Honesty People Places

I came from a real tough neighborhood; in the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink Places

The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear.

(1964 – ) Canadian writer & novelist
America Canada History People Places

A trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Hollywood Insults Places

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places Politics

New York, the nation's thyroid gland.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
New York City Places

Socialite: Whatever possessed you to be born in a place like Lowell, Massachusetts?

Whistler: I wished to be near my mother.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Family Mothers Places

In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, 'Sorry, we're open.’

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Food/Drink Places