Subject: Places (Page 9)

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People Places

NASA is developing space taxis to shuttle astronauts to the International Space Station; and just like New York taxis… they’re all going to be driven by aliens.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
New York City Places

I saw a license plate yesterday that said 'I Miss New York,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian
New York City Places Problems

Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.

American author
Insults People Places

For the white people, it would be like if you were going to Vermont.

American stand-up comedian
People Places

You gotta live somewhere.

(1948 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Places

You might be a redneck if… the biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-Mart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

Rome wasn’t born in a day.

professional baseball player
Malaprops Places

The only good thing about playing for Cleveland is you don't have to make road trips there.

American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

If Moses would have walked two more miles, we'd have all the oil.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places

What IS a ‘moderate Iranian,’ anyway?… someone who takes hostages but doesn't eat them?

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Government Places Politics

The earth is bipolar.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
America Death Places

We know Jesus can’t have been English; he is always wearing sandals, but never with socks.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer
Appearance England Places

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America New York City Places Self

In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.

America Murphy’s Laws Places

Well, I learned a lot… I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views; you’d be surprised, they’re all individual countries.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Places

A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough, let's go west.' on how Chicago got started

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Places Situations

There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
America Conflict Places War World

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.

(1934 – 1997) journalist
Activities America Autos Places Travel

Leave it to the Germans – even their appliances crave power.

(1940 – 2018) English-American actor & comedian
Places TV/Movie Quotes