Subject: Places » World

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places Problems Success World

If the people of New Zealand want to be a part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Places World

Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
People Success World

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Life World

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Marriage Problems Sex World

A New Zealander in a frenzy is an American in a coma.

(1970 – ) New Zealand stand-up comedian & radio & television personality
Characteristics Places World

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places World

The world gets better every day – then worse again in the evening.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Places Time World

New Jersey is to America as America is to the world.

(1977 – ) American television producer, writer & comedian
America Emotions Places World

If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
World Yogi-isms

Don't let the whole world come here and see our stuff; it just pisses them off.

television executive & comedian
America Anger Emotions Places World

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Age Communication Language Old Speech World

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success World

In a perfect world, a fair world, Bob Hayes should be forced to carry a small calf on his shoulder when he runs the dashes…Mark Spitz, in all fairness, would swim with a sea anchor…[and] Ella Fitzgerald must sing every note with a mouth full of Tootsie Rolls.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Entertainment Life Places Sports World

I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Characteristics Life World

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Places Situations World

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
World

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Characteristics People World

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Places World

There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
America Conflict Places War World