Subject: Places » World (Page 3)

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Characteristics People World

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
World

The world gets better every day – then worse again in the evening.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Places Time World

A New Zealander in a frenzy is an American in a coma.

(1970 – ) New Zealand stand-up comedian & radio & television personality
Characteristics Places World

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish… my dreams were broadcast all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Situations Sleep World

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Housework Situations World

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

(1962 – ) American author & poet
Entertainment Places World

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Places World

What this world needs is a damned good plague.

Murphy’s Laws World

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Places Situations World

I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Characteristics Life World

If you think the world is against you – it doesn't necessarily mean that it isn't.

Murphy’s Laws World

The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places World

The world is divided into people who do things – and people who get the credit.

(1873 – 1931) businessman, politician & diplomat
People Places World

The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it.

(the Science Guy) (1955 – ) American science educator, writer & scientist
Places World

I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places World

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Life World

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Taxes Understanding World