Subject: Problems

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs… but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

(1916 – 2000) Egyptian-American academic economist & historian
Failure Problems Situations

Authorization for a project will be granted only when none of the authorizers can be blamed if the project fails but when all of the authorizers can claim credit if it succeeds.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Problems

If you're already in a hole, there's no use to continue digging.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Mistakes Problems Sports

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

The road to success is always under construction.

(1929 – 2016) American golfer
Problems Success

There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Characteristics Intelligence Problems

Percussive Maintenance: Striking a recalcitrant piece of electronic hardware in order to facilitate a successful reboot, and repeating as necessary.

Definitions Failure Problems Things

I’ve seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch.

(1961 – ) American comedian, actor & talk show host
Problems

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

Military Murphy’s Laws Problems

When one is trying to be elegant and sophisticated, one won't.

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Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Failure

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Problems Sports

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems Self

Everything will go wrong at one time.

Corollary: That time is always when you least expect it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws