Subject: Problems

Never create a problem for which you do not have the answer.

Corollary: Create problems for which only you have the answer.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Failure Problems Success

When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger have handled this?"

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Batteries die at the most critical time of the most complex problem.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

This is a crisis, a large crisis. In fact… it’s a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeted throughout; twenty-four hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying ‘This is a Large Crisis.’

(1955 – ) English actor
Problems TV/Movie Quotes

1. Nothing minor ever happens to a car on the weekend. 2. Nothing minor ever happens to a car on a trip. 3. Nothing minor ever happens to a car.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Problems

When all else fails, follow instructions.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The road to success is always under construction.

(1929 – 2016) American golfer
Problems Success

If most auto accidents happen within five miles of home, why don’t we move ten miles away?

Accidents Autos Problems Things

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Characteristics Communication Problems

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

She had an unequaled gift of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities.

(1843 – 1916) American-born writer
Mistakes People Problems

If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.

Lerman's Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States; ask any Indian.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
America Places Problems

There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

Problems

When life gives you lemons, just say ‘Fuck the lemons’ and bail.

(1969 - ) American actor, comedian, & screenwriter
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Problems

The solution to a problem changes the problem.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty