Subject: Problems » Accidents

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car; it wasn’t serious – nobody saw me.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Accidents Problems

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

It's hard to describe what it's like to see a stock car flying through the air knowing it's going to land on top of you.

American auto racer
Accidents Auto racing Problems Sports

I broke a leg one time… spilled coffee all over.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Problems

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.


Accidents Cooking Food/Drink Problems

The most delicate component will be dropped.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

If most auto accidents happen within five miles of home, why don’t we move ten miles away?

Accidents Autos Problems Things

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Accidents Problems

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

Accidents Children

Accident: When presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Definitions Problems

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws