Subject: Problems » Accidents

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Accidents Problems

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car; it wasn’t serious – nobody saw me.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Accidents Problems

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

I broke a leg one time… spilled coffee all over.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Problems

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems

A dropped object will fall with an acceleration of 32 feet per second per second, and if it is your wallet, it will make every effort to land in a public toilet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Accidents Problems Things

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Accidents Insults Problems

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Accidents Beliefs Opinion Problems

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems