Subject: Problems » Accidents (Page 2)

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Accidents Autos Things

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
Accidents Problems War

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Accidents Problems

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Accidents Insults Problems

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

Things always fall at right angles.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

The leading cause of hot air balloon crashes is blowing an open flame into a f**king cloth balloon with a basket attached.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Accidents Problems Things

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

Accidents Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws