Subject: Problems » Accidents (Page 2)

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Accidents Life

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Accidents Problems

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Animals Dogs Problems

A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
Accidents Problems War

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

Accidents Children

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

They're funny things, accidents; you never have them till you're having them.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Accidents Problems

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

I broke a leg one time… spilled coffee all over.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Problems

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Accidents Insults Problems

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

A dropped object will fall with an acceleration of 32 feet per second per second, and if it is your wallet, it will make every effort to land in a public toilet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Things always fall at right angles.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.


Accidents Cooking Food/Drink Problems