Subject: Problems » Accidents (Page 2)

Accident: When presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Definitions Problems

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Accidents Problems

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

I broke a leg one time… spilled coffee all over.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Problems

They're funny things, accidents; you never have them till you're having them.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Accidents Problems

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Accidents Life

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Animals Dogs Problems

If most auto accidents happen within five miles of home, why don’t we move ten miles away?

Accidents Autos Problems Things

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Accidents Beliefs Opinion Problems

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car; it wasn’t serious – nobody saw me.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Accidents Problems

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor… especially in the dark.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Situations Things

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems