Subject: Problems » Accidents (Page 2)

They're funny things, accidents; you never have them till you're having them.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Accidents Problems

Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Accidents Problems

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

A dropped object will fall with an acceleration of 32 feet per second per second, and if it is your wallet, it will make every effort to land in a public toilet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Animals Dogs Problems

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

Things always fall at right angles.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car; it wasn’t serious – nobody saw me.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Accidents Problems

I think the homeless have it pretty good because 98% of deadly accidents happen inside the home.

(1982 – ) American stand-up comedian
Accidents People Problems

The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

Accidents Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Accidents Entertainment Problems

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Accidents Problems Things

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

Accidents Children

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems