Subject: Problems » Accidents (Page 3)

If you mess with something long enough, it'll break.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Accidents Entertainment Problems

The leading cause of hot air balloon crashes is blowing an open flame into a f**king cloth balloon with a basket attached.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Accidents Problems Things

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

The most delicate component will be dropped.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor… especially in the dark.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Situations Things

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car; it wasn’t serious – nobody saw me.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Accidents Problems

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Accidents Insults Problems

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs – but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

Accidents Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems