Subject: Problems » Failure

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Failure Success Wordplay

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Emotions Failure Friends

I don't believe in astrology; the only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Failure God Success

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.

(1909 – 1995) American journalist
Failure Government Problems

Authorization for a project will be granted only when none of the authorizers can be blamed if the project fails but when all of the authorizers can claim credit if it succeeds.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Reality continues to ruin my life.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Failure Life Problems

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Self Sports

An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.

Failure Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

I have not failed… I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

(1847 – 1931) American inventor, scientist & businessman
Failure Problems

Whatever a parent does is wrong.

Failure Family Murphy’s Laws Parents Problems Young

Batteries die at the most critical time of the most complex problem.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs… but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

(1916 – 2000) Egyptian-American academic economist & historian
Failure Problems Situations

Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Failure Problems

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Accidents Failure People

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Failure Problems

If at first you don't succeed, try try again… then quit; there's no use being a damn fool about it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Failure Situations Success