Subject: Problems » Failure

Reality continues to ruin my life.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Failure Life Problems

Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

To err is human… and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Computers Failure Mistakes Things

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Dear Randolph, utterly unspoilt by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure Insults

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Failure Problems Situations

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

To err is human to forgive, infrequent.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Characteristics Failure Mistakes Problems

Experiments should be reproducible… they should all fail in the same way.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

I don't believe in astrology; the only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure

Authorization for a project will be granted only when none of the authorizers can be blamed if the project fails but when all of the authorizers can claim credit if it succeeds.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Failure Family

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it.


Failure Murphy’s Laws

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Accidents Failure People

Percussive Maintenance: Striking a recalcitrant piece of electronic hardware in order to facilitate a successful reboot, and repeating as necessary.

Definitions Failure Problems Things

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Failure Friends Old People Success

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Failure Problems Things

I have not failed… I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

(1847 – 1931) American inventor, scientist & businessman
Failure Problems